


Fake Enemies

by oh_look_honey_nerds



Series: Trope Subversion [2]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Ebb Lives, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Roommates, Trope Subversion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-01-24 00:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18560602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_look_honey_nerds/pseuds/oh_look_honey_nerds
Summary: “No. I don’t want to fight you. Let’s just… not. We don’t have to be friends, but we don’t have to be enemies either.”Everyone expects Simon Snow and Baz Pitch to be enemies, but what if that's not what they want? When Simon proposes a truce in first year Baz is willing to accept on one condition: it has to stay a secret. How will that affect their time at Watford? Will anyone work out the true nature of their relationship?





	1. First Year

**SIMON**

“Why do you hate me?” I clamp my jaw shut in case any more words escape and hope that Baz didn’t hear me. It’s getting late but he’s still at his desk taking notes from his Latin textbook. I gave up on trying to do any of my homework ages ago. For the last hour I’ve been lying on my bed and trying to convince myself everything’s fine. (Everything is not fine.)

I’ve been at Watford nearly a month now and I still don’t understand anything about the Magickal world. My spells never work properly, my magic is totally out of control, and my roommate wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire. If it wasn’t for the sour cherry scones I’d probably have done a runner weeks ago.

“You really don’t know anything, do you Snow.” Baz turns to me with a sneer and leans back in his chair. I sit up, preparing for an argument since that seems to be the only way we can interact with each other.

“We’re on opposite sides of the war.” He says it like a well-established fact but I can’t work out what he’s getting at. 

“What, you mean you’re with the Humdrum...”

“Of course not, you utter numpty. I’m talking about the Mage and his campaign against the Old Families.”

After a few seconds I realise I’m staring at him with my mouth hanging open and I flush and look away. It’s pretty obvious I have no idea what he’s talking about. I mean the Mage has mentioned the Old Families and their opposition to his plans, but I thought it was all just politics. The Humdrum is the real enemy, that’s who I’m supposed to fight. Not other  _ people _ . Not my  _ roommate _ .

“We’re destined to be enemies, Snow. You’re the Mage’s Heir and the Mage wants to destroy the Old Families. We’re at war, and I have to do my part to fight for the World of Mages. There’s only one way this can end.”

“But I don’t want…”

“It doesn’t matter what you want, Chosen One. You can’t change it.” Baz turns away and starts packing up his books. Clearly he thinks there’s nothing more to say, but I’m not going to let this go.

“No.” I stand up and scowl at him. I don’t care about some stupid political feud. I know why I’m here and it’s got nothing to do with the Old Families. “No. I don’t want to fight you. Let’s just… not. We don’t have to be friends, but we don’t have to be enemies either.”

“Look, being a Pitch comes with certain… expectations. My loyalty is to the Old Families, and making peace with the Mage’s Heir is going against everything we stand for.”

“No one else has to know, do they?” I realise I’m starting to sound desperate, but that’s probably because I am. “You don’t have to treat me any differently out there. You can still act like you hate my guts and think I’m shit at magic…”

“You are shit at magic, Snow.” Baz smirks at me but I ignore the interruption and keep going. 

“But in here we can ignore whatever’s happening between the Mage and the Old Families, and at least try not to hate each other.”

I realise I’m holding my breath waiting for his reaction and all of a sudden I can’t take the pressure anymore.

“Truce?” I thrust out my hand and Baz just stares at me, unmoving. It’s like the bloody Crucible all over again and I grit my teeth, my insides in knots as I wait for him to do  _ something _ . Slowly he reaches out and I can’t keep the grin from my face as he grips my hand.

“Truce.” He doesn’t smile back, but at the moment I don’t even care.

“But you can’t tell anyone.” He’s still staring at me and I nod my head in agreement. “They have to think we’re still enemies.”


	2. Second Year

**PENNY**

Simon and Baz are staring at each other across the dining hall again. 

It’s obvious (to me at least) that there's something going on with those two. They’re always exchanging glares, insults, or punches. Although I have my doubts about how serious all their fighting actually is. Sometimes I get the feeling that it's just for show (the other day Baz called Simon a clobbering beast and I swear they were both struggling to keep a straight face).

I bump Simon's shoulder and he turns back to me with a small smile.

“Ready to go?” I ask as I push my plate away. He snags the last cherry scone and slathers on more butter.

“Alright.” he replies as he stuffs it into his mouth, spraying crumbs everywhere. I stand up to leave and realise Simon hasn’t even moved. He’s still looking across the dining hall at Baz.

“Can you just leave him alone for five minutes Simon?” 

“I wasn’t doing anything!” He flushes and jumps to his feet. “But don’t you think Baz looks like he’s plotting something?”

I shake my head and give him a small push in the direction of the door, not saying anything. I don’t want to encourage him. Though when I look back at Baz, he’s watching Simon walk away with an expression that makes me wonder if Simon’s not entirely wrong.

* * *

I usually enjoy Elocution, but Simon's getting frustrated and it's very distracting. The overwhelming smell of smoke blankets the classroom and everyone's starting to get woozy off Simon's magic. Except for Baz. He seems to be functioning normally. I wonder if it's because he's exposed to Simon's magic more often than the rest of us.

I touch Simon's arm to get his attention and a spark jumps between us.

"Nicks and Slick, Simon!" I shake out my fingers and he grimaces, looking guilty. 

"Sorry Pen. It’s just… I can’t… Why is this so hard?” He scowls and the temperature in the room jumps. I slowly edge away. I’d rather not be too close if Simon goes off (which is looking increasingly likely).

“Crowley, how are you still so bad at such basic spells? Use your words Snow!” I don’t know how Baz manages to look bored while everyone else is just trying to keep their feet. Simon bristles beside me, but as his attention turns to Baz the heat of his magic seems to recede a little.

“Well we can’t all be posh gits like you!” He juts out his chin and takes a step towards Baz.

“Obviously.” He looks Simon up and down with a smirk.

“Shut up!” As Simon moves closer to Baz his magic draws back under his skin and it’s suddenly a lot easier to breathe.

As the tension in the room drains away I realise what just happened. Baz has managed to stop Simon going off, and suddenly it’s so obvious. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. I know what’s going on between Simon and Baz, now I just have to confront them about it. The rest of the class is distracted by their continued bickering, so I slip out of the room without anyone noticing and head towards Mummers House. 

* * *

I haven’t been waiting long when I hear footsteps thudding up the stairs then the door slams open and Simon and Baz stumble into their room, leaning on each other and laughing. 

"Hello boys."

They both freeze when they see me sitting on the edge of Simon's bed, though Baz recovers quickly. 

"Bunce." He says with a nod, sauntering over to his bed. “You shouldn’t be able to get in here.”

"Penny… how did you… what's going on…" Simon stutters, looking between me and Baz, obviously at a loss on what to do. 

I take pity on him and pat the bed next to me. "Sit down Simon, and you can explain to me exactly what's happening with you two."

"You mean you haven't figured it out yet?" Baz drawls. He's trying to look unconcerned but he's not fooling me. 

"Actually Basil, I do have one or two theories."

"Well let's hear them then." He says with a smirk.

"Fine." I give him the same look Mum uses on us when we're trying to hide something and she's not falling for it. Judging by his expression it's not as effective at forcing a confession, but I notice his furtive glance at Simon.

"Well one theory I have is that you've fallen madly in love and are secretly dating."

"Penny!" Simon sounds scandalized and I can feel the heat of his blush from here. "Of course we're not in love!"

Baz lifts one eyebrow as he leans back on the wall and crosses his arms. "And what's your other theory?"

"That all your antagonism is just for show, and you're actually friends." I glance at Simon for his reaction, and can't help a satisfied smile. His mouth is hanging open and the shock in his eyes is fading to resignation. 

"How long have you known?" Simon's eyes dart nervously to Baz, and I hear him sigh in frustration. 

"So what gave it away? Snow's abysmal acting skills?"

"Hey!"

"Among other things." I lean into Simon and squeeze his leg in apology. "For starters, Simon's Latin has improved and I know I'm not the one helping him."

"Maybe I'm getting better on my own!" Simon scowls when he notices Baz rolling his eyes, then slumps back against the wall in defeat "Fine, Baz has been helping me a little."

"And Simon insists on watching every single football practice."

"That's because I like football!" Simon splutters and avoids looking at Baz.

"Well yes, but you spend the whole time raving about how good Baz is."

"That's because he is." Simon mumbles but I know Baz hears him. For once his smirk is veering towards an actual smile.

"Alright, so maybe we don't hate each other. That doesn't mean we're friends." Baz looks like he's getting ready to argue, so I play my trump card.

"The other day when Simon missed lunch I saw you leaving the dining hall with a pile of cherry scones."

"How do you know they weren't for me?" I smile at the slightly panicked look on Baz's face. He's not as subtle as he likes to think.

"I know you don't like cherry scones. Simon's mentioned it often enough." 

"Fine, Penny you're right. Baz is my friend, but you can't tell anyone!"

"Of course I won't." I answer Simon automatically, distracted by the expression on Baz's face. I don't know that I've ever seen him look genuinely happy before. 

"We have to keep it secret from the Mage and the Old Families. They can't know about us." Simon continues, oblivious to the effect his words have on Baz.

“Don’t worry, you know I’ll keep your secret.” Simon smiles at me, the relief clear on his face.

“Although if you really don’t want anyone to find out, you should probably stop staring at each other so much.”


End file.
